Ciao Bella!

   Who is this gorgeous, remote creature, the modern Italian woman?

    I went to my cousin's 50th birthday party over the weekend (He's 50? He was always the runt of my brood of male cousins).

    It's always great to see my cousins -- they come with floods of warm childhood memories. But what really caught my eye at his party were the women. Italian women are fascinating to me. I guess because technically I am one. But not. My mother definitely was.   

   Let's start with my cousin's wife, who's a judge and a mother of three, who threw the party for her husband.

   A petite, slim woman, she wore a skin-tight black jumpsuit with a sparkly sash circling her hips and a dramatic open V-back that exposed her tanned back down to her waist. Black heels. Blonde highlights.

   The spread she laid out was just as elegant as her look. Appetizers included bite-sized tomatoes -- "pomodorini" -- stuffed with rice with the tops put delicately back on, and three kinds of mini-quiches with different stuffings -- ricotta and asparagus (in season, of course) just one of the selections.

   She made three kinds of "primi" or first courses, including a mouth-watering swordfish pasta. That was only the beginning of the meal. She made most of it herself. No Costco involved. She does have a housekeeper, I'll give you that. But it was all her creation.

   Other women at the party included a psychiatrist, a criminal defense attorney, an accountant and various other professionals -- not that they ever talk about their jobs (you don't talk about your jobs in Italy -- food, vacation and family much more interesting topics).

   One woman, with thick dark hair and wearing a one-shouldered clingy pumpkin-colored dress, talked about how she was sandwiched between parents, kids and job (she might not have mentioned her job actually) -- a modern situation for women all over the world. 

   "Do you cook dinner for the family every night?" I asked.

   "Of course," she replied. And when she says dinner, she's not talking Hamburger Helper.

   Another stylish woman leant over on the sofa, smiling. 

   "She bakes her own bread, too. It's really good."  

   But these mysterious, beautiful creatures are not easy to really get to know. Especially for foreigners. None of my long-time expat friends can name a single Italian woman as a life-long friend (not family). Why, nobody is completely sure.  

    And in the mixed marriages involving Italians, it's almost never the Italian woman who falls for the foreign guy. It's always the other way around.

   Ciao bella! Who the hell are you?