Monday, 25 January 2010

The Illegal Living Room

I thought I had seen it all in Italian building.
But nope. No way.
Met a new American woman here in my town on the side of the hill.
Thought I had met all of them too.
Meeting her was a very pleasant surprise.
But it's her living room I can't stop thinking about.
It's illegal.
It's been sequestered and returned to the patrimony of this little town. So she can't use it. Even though it's right there in the middle of her house, where she's living.
Huh?
I mean, all of us have illegal bits in our houses here. Part of my house is illegal too, as are parts of all the houses around me. And probably all of the newish houses in this town, I would bet.
By illegal I mean outside the boundary of the approved plan.
Everyone stretches the super-strict building plans here a bit -- it's a national pastime -- an extra room or window here or there.
That's really mostly all it is.
But I've gotten away with it, as has everyone around me.
My closest friend here has a few illegal rooms. (And an illegal wall, but that's another story).
But it's not really a problem for her until -- and if -- she wants to sell the house. She bought it like that, with the back of the house all illegal, because she got a good price for it.
But being American and all, she's trying to legalize it, because well, I guess it just makes her more comfortable, even if she doesn't sell it.
This new one though is different.
She CANNOT USE her living room. And it's got a big official Italian sticker on it saying so.
Her builder told on her.
What?
That's the last person who tells on you. He built it, for chrissakes.
My builder actually suggested what illegal stuff I could do.
But this builder wanted more money than agreed for the house at the end, and when they balked at coughing up, he went to the town council to tell them that the living room he had built her was illegal.
She appealed, went to court. (I mean, you have to, when you're talking about your own living room, right?).
She lost.
A local judge ruled that her living room should be returned to the patrimony of the town.
Please explain to me what that means.
As a resident of this town, can I go and hang out in her living room then? (Which by the way is not that big and does nobody any harm at all as far as I can see).
When she showed me her empty, forlorn living room, with its big sticker on the outside wall, I suggested she just use the damn thing anyway.
I mean really. It is part of her house. And this is Italy after all, where nobody ever does anything they're supposed to.
She can't though. Her builder lives just behind her. He can see the illegal living room he built her.
If she used it, he would tell.

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