Just Do It?

      I've gone ahead and moved forward with moving our stuff to Italy, but I'm not sure it's the right thing. That's my curse at the moment. Unsure of everything. And losing confidence in my decision-making. 

      It's going to cost a bit to get it down there, of course, but really, what is the alternative? 

      Even if we do stay here for a few years, which we don't know whether we will or not, we're never going to rent -- or god forbid, contemplate buying -- a place big enough to fit all our old stuff.  We'll get a place about the size of what we have now, perhaps configured differently. Or if we buy, even smaller.

     Maybe it'll have a bigger staircase though, or no staircase at all, that's the only thing. So maybe we should keep our old sofa in storage here just in case we could get it up the stairs? God. My brain hurts from thinking about all the different scenarios.  

     If I only knew what I was doing, I could get on with the business of settling. Like other people who move. They move, and then move on. I just move.

     I hate the idea of having so much stuff in storage. It's expensive, time just goes ticking by on it, and before you know it, you've been paying for storage for years. For a load of old crap. That you haven't seen in years. 

     I've seen people do that. I've mocked them in my mind. I no longer mock anyone for anything.   

     Then, what if we move back to the States? Will we need our furniture then?

     Even if we do move back, we're never going to get a decent-sized suburban family home again, I don't think. There's only the two of us. We were sick of the American suburbs. We have enough for a two-bedroom apartment here with us anyway.  

     So, why move the rest of the stuff to Italy?

     Because we're not going to sell that house. I don't think. For awhile, anyway. I don't think I can stand giving up anything else. And that used to be the cornerstone of my dreams: having a house in Italy, retiring there.   

     Why else?

     So it's not in storage.  

     So it'll help me settle.

     So maybe I can move towards this ideal of dividing my time between London and Italy, the dream I had.

     The one I seem to have forgotten.

     Should I? Or shouldn't I? Got any advice? I've got maybe till the end of today to back out of it.