Help

I used to have help. Boy did I.
I was the queen of having help. Anyone who knows me knows that.
I had the same woman work for me for almost 20 years. Helping me. In four countries.
How lucky is that?
She helped me raise my kids, bury my parents, work as a journalist. She cleaned my houses for all that time, too, did all my husband's ironing.
God, the things she did. Not cheap, of course, how could it be? But worth it.
God, I've missed her. It was like my left arm got amputated. Even though we both needed a break after all those years together.
She stopped working for us when we sold our suburban house last summer and I left my job. She was just coming a couple hours a week at that point, ever since my boys left for college, but still, she was still around.
But then we sold our house. And I left my job.
No job, no help needed, pretty much.
Not just because of the money, although you do think about that, if you're a woman, when you're not working.
Didn't really need any help though. We had moved downtown to a small apartment in D.C. for the last six months we were in the States. Most of our stuff was in storage.
My husband was traveling a lot those last few months in Washington, covering the presidential campaign. My boys were away at college. I was alone a lot in the apartment, not working. Not much got dirty.
And she didn't want to work for me there either. Both of us had had enough, I guess, which makes me sad.
And then here, it's taken us awhile to settle in. (Are we settled in now?) And it was just the two of us. And I was in Italy a lot.
Anyway, this morning, I spent half the morning cleaning the bathrooms here. Finally found a spray that removes the hard water stains on the shower glass door. That was driving me crazy. Never had that before.
With three of us living here now, you need to clean a good 45 minutes a day, I reckon, just to keep up.
There's always something, don't we all know it -- vacuuming, washing, the kitchen, the bathrooms.
With three adults, two of them male.
Perhaps I should get a cleaning lady now. Just a couple hours a week.
Don't know who to get. Feels like a chore to find someone.
People say you need a recommendation. Got to trust the person.
And does that mean you really live somewhere, when you get a cleaning lady?
The signs I've seen around are all Eastern European ladies looking for work.
Do I need to spend the money? Or can I just do it myself?
There's a part of me that would rather do it myself.
Because I know exactly what needs doing.
Like women do.
But I also hate doing it.
Like women do.
But I like it when it's done.
Like women do.