Where to Go

I still feel so disoriented here.
Been here just over eight months now, although I did spend a lot of time in Italy this summer.
Been working my freelance job a couple days a week now. That's what it looks like they'll want for now, a couple days a week. Not a week in a row, as I was thinking, and I guess hoping, but a couple days each week.
Anyway, it's something. Quite good, considering the shitty global job scene for journalists.
My son's working there too, as an intern, just for a few weeks, which is surreal.
Working with my son?
We go by Tube together there.
Lots of newfound togetherness for us. We haven't lived together for the past five years, since he went to college.
At work, we freelancers and interns, sit at different computers each day, "hot-seat", as they call it, which is disorienting in itself.
This afternoon, I found myself sitting across from my son for a few hours.
What?
What am I doing here?
I don't know. I've traded down in every aspect of my life -- my job, my house, financially.
Why?
I don't know. Italy was part of the reason. But when I'm here, and not there, it's hard to remember that. But my son is allegedly moving there at the end of this year. We hope anyway.
My job in the States was disappearing. They've had two buy-outs since I left. I'm hearing it's not that much fun there for those who are left. I could've gone to work somewhere else there though.
Do I want to stay here?
Really not sure.
We were going to look at it after a year. A year's not that far away now.
Don't like living in a rented flat. But not sure I want to buy anything here. Don't have the money for a deposit on a nice place. Even with the recession, property here is still really expensive. You get a better place renting.
Still need quite a big place -- if you call this big, which kinda it is -- because of the boys. Younger one is mulling over coming here after he graduates from college next spring. Only one can live with us at a time, my husband says, like having only one in diapers.
Do I even have a choice anymore?
Can I even leave? Or is this it for awhile?